When an elderly parent’s health begins to fail, one adult child generally assumes the role of primary caregiver. While this arrangement may work well for a time, it can eventually lead to resentment when you find yourself shouldering most of the burden—especially if other siblings live nearby and still don’t help out.

Before you say or do something that you’ll regret later, it’s important to take a look at why you accepted this responsibility in the first place, says Lynne Coon, M.S., a licensed professional counselor in Portland, Oregon.