PLANNING AHEAD: Can you promise no nursing home care?

Families sometimes go to extreme lengths to prevent a loved one from moving to a nursing home. That might be based on a promise that it would never happen. How realistic that promise is can be tested over and over again.

When healthy adults are asked would they rather stay home or move to a nursing home, the answer is obviously to stay at home. Still, I have heard some exceptions, all from women who say they do not want to remain at home if their family has to take extreme measures to care for them. A common expression is “I do not want my daughter to have to go through what I did” (in caring for a very frail parent or one with dementia.)