Stop Competing for Caregiving Control

Laura had heard the cliché about the primary caregiver of an aging parent who is ignored by neglectful siblings. She just sometimes wished it were true for her. In the excitable and opinionated family of seven in which she grew up, everyone needed to have their say on everything. Little wonder, then, that her siblings now constantly questioned whatever decisions she made for their 88-year-old Italian American mother. Whether it was scheduling medical appointments or home health aides, no caregiving choice appeared too insignificant for them to debate with her and each other. She didn’t begrudge them the right to speak their minds; this was their mother, too. But she grew defensive and weary with the frequent arguments.